Words of wisdom

A fabulous friend from home recently sent me the below email to offer me inspiration in my online hunt. I have to say, this suggests that I ought to completely abandon all conversations with The Word Smith, and maybe take advantage of the slightly more simplistic ‘hot chav’ “Your face is nice and that innit” messages…I’m sort of inclined to agree with her:

Resimay

To hoom it may consern,

I want to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realey kwik with one finger and do sum a-counting…

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a people people, People really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling in not two good but find that I can Offen can get a job thru my personalety.

My celery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth.

I can start mediatley. Thank you in advance fore youre anser.

Hopifuly yoyre bestest aplicant so far.

Cinserely,

BRYAN

Pee Ess: Cause my resimay is a bit short – below is a pikture of me

Employers response:

Dear Bryan,

We’ve got spell check.

See you TOMORROW!