Bad times for Tits

Tits McGee found herself a nice (but apparently rather dim) young chap at the pub the other day.

Filled with hope that a strapping young lad with strong arms and a good face would be a dating potential, she was fairly excited when he sent her an initial follow up text. Oh, the disappointment that lay ahead:

Tim Nice-But-Dim: Hey how are you?

Tits: Fine thanks. Am having a very exciting night in, cleaning the oven.

Tim: Do you want to come for a drink if you can drag yourself away from the oven?

Tits: (bearing in mind that it is currently 8:45 pm) Er well I have oven cleaner in my hair and shite from the oven all over my arms, so not feeling too fresh. Why, where are you like? (Please be aware , Tits McGee is northern…)

Tim: What do you mean?

Tits:  Like, where are you? Are you out?

Tim: In Vauxhall chilling out, watching Magnum Force.

Tits: Oh a classic! I forgot to ask, is that where you live?

Tim: Yes.

Riiiiiiiiight. Might be time to delete that number methinks McGee!

Tits McGee Update 2

Having had a bit of a chat with one of the less-crazy-than-most boys I’ve met online, it turns out that we girls are not the only ones that get sent really crazy messages on these scary sites.

            Here’s a classic that might go some way to explain why this particular young lady was still single and having to look online:

“You have taken my heart,

Give it back!

But you can’t just give it back,

It belongs to you!

So the only way for me to get my ear back,

Is for you to belong to me!

Be mine, be mine,

Cause my heart is yours.”

Wowza, I hope he went and checked on the status of his pet bunny after he received that one!

Tits McGee Update 1

Some girls have all the luck. Tell me, how can you not go weak at the knees from a classy introduction like this:

“Hi baby, what’s up? You look good. Am in jail. Send me your number. Xx”

Yeah, I’m definitely getting the pick of the litter here.