Terror, fear and a little pizza on the side

I’ve just been on my first internet fuelled date, and to be honest, I’m not too sure where to start with this post.

I’m hoping that by running through the main emotions that I have had to deal with today I will be able to offer a fairly full date summary. Let's give it a go. Today I have felt:
- Drunk, thanks to the two ‘warm up’ glasses of wine I felt obliged to have before meeting up with someone I know is t-total.

- Fear that, having received three texts progressively delaying meeting up for a full hour and a half, I was going to get stood up when I had already ordered a glass of wine and settled myself on the bar with a spare seat beside me.

- Terror that the old man with the handlebar moustache and paunch who gave me a slightly suspicious smile as I took my seat was in fact going to be my date and I was going to have to struggle with the inner turmoil of having to decide whether to cut and run or be polite and sit out the pain.

- Relief at the fact that the face that eventually arrived and sat next to me was pretty much the same one as the photos I had seen suggested it ought to be.

- Tired. As the wine wore off and the reality of the rather dry company that I was keeping sunk in, I found myself slowly starting to lag and having to fill the time with inane chatter and nonsensical conversational topics. Did you know that the weekend edition of the FT is really rather entertaining with some really cracking regular commentary slots? Yeah, me neither. It's fun to learn new things isn't it?

- Disturbed at slowly discovering that the 29 year old sat next to me was basically the exact same person as my 55 year old uncle; from voice and mannerisms, through to their strongly held convictions regarding a number of decidedly upper class concerns. I am pretty sure that they would have had a more successful meal together and far more to talk about too. I just don't care about the way every single machine in the world works, nor am I so mortally offended by people wearing wellies in the city that I have to turn around and point them out as they work their way around Harrods. 

- Grateful that the 137 bus arrived at the perfect time, and that I got to leap through the doors and drive off well before the awkward goodbye.

-Awkward. I was planning to walk home, but as he was going to be walking the same way for at least 30 minutes, the bus had seemed like a much better choice. That is, until it started getting stuck in traffic and at red lights so much that, having pulled past The Word Smith once, and breathed a sigh of relief at having survived, we then stopped moving, allowing him to catch up with an overtake the bus (a pattern that was repeated a good four times in total) and I hid from him every time. Such a classy lady!

So, in summary, it could have been worse, but it also could have been a whole lot better. I think that now, seeing as the guys that I am meeting up with have all been looking for dates online, I am going to have to assume the worst with each and everyone that comes to my attention. Easy, I just need to find someone that sounds ridiculously perfect on every level, get them to agree to go out with me, and then remember that in reality they are going to be, at best, distinctively average (and hopefully not crazy) when they arrive. Sounds like a fairly good game plan to me!