Dim sum and 'banter'

The Personality Partner is one of those boys that uses words like “Banter” and “Lad” to punctuate his sentences. This worries me. Sure, it’s fairly entertaining and I am the last person to hide behind a fake persona and not embrace the fact that I swear (yes, and drink) like sailor, but still, anyone who actively encourages the part of my brain that yells “For the win!” every time I achieve anything can’t honestly be the very best company for me.

            Still, we’re three dates in and I don’t actively hate him yet. I would have to say that, despite the fact that he really is the sort of boy that my mum would call ‘an arse’ I rather like him. I think.

            I’m still confused about when you’re supposed to know if a boy ‘off of online’ is for keeps, or whether the fact that you still find them funny after three meetings is just a sign that they’re not mental, but by no means worthy of keeping.

            Regardless – I got to have gin on Monday and Dim Sum to boot, it’s just a bit of a shame that I had woken up at 5am and was utterly shattered by 9pm. At least it was a Monday and the requirement of an excuse to need an early night was fairly unnecessary. 

Third date territory

Seeing as you meet people online for the very first time ever when you go on your first date, I am struggling to work out how many dates it is acceptable to organise, just to see if you’re going to get along?

Obviously, if you go on the first date and it’s vile (may I draw your attention to my experiences with The Word Smith) then that’s one thing, but what if the chap is nice enough, fairly entertaining, not vile looking and maybe a potential…but maybe not? They obviously require further investigation – but how much more?

            This week I’ve got a third attempt lined up with The Personality Twin and a second meeting in the making with The Crazy Swimmer but I can’t work out if these ought to be the last meetings if there aren’t any sparks flying.

            Having spoken to Tits McGee about this last night, it seems that I ought to be able to make a decision about this in 2-3 dates tops…I have to admit though, I’m struggling. I hate to cut things short when you’re not sure what the results might be, but as everyone keeps telling me, these boys aren’t on the site to make friends, so I need to make a firm decision either way, and probably sooner rather than later. Tricky, very tricky.  Maybe dim sum with The Personality Twin this evening will help shed some more light on it.

It's getting serious!

And it’s scaring me.

            It’s not getting serious personally – don’t worry, I haven’t decided that after two rather non-dates I am going to marry The Personality Partner or anything dire. It’s more a realisation that for a number of people participant in online dating (well, pretty much all of them I guess) are looking for something a lot more serious than me.

            I was dreading the date I had got lined up for last night. It transpired (through a string of emails and text exchanges) that the guy was not only nearly ten years older than me, but he also a ‘part owned’ dog, which triggered (maybe slightly over-reactive) warning bells. It doesn’t take too much reading between the lines to see that revelation was code for ‘broken home and custody battles over said pooch’. I don’t want to get myself overly involved with a guy who cried every weekend when he has to part with his dog and send it to live with The Ex. Christ, I have enough trouble looking after myself – I don’t need a crier on my hands too!

            Eventually, unable to come up with a suitable excuse and with a feeling of obligation to at least meet up with The Crazy Swimmer (he thinks that swimming in frozen lakes is a treat…) and see if his eyes are constantly on the brink of tears, I met up with him last night at Skylon – a rather fabulous cocktail bar on Southbank with amazing views and even better gin cocktails.

            We bonded over a mutual love of gin and a general obsession with dogs, and he scared me with talk of his ultra-marathons (he ran 150 miles across a desert in 7 days once. I have no idea why, but the mere thought of it terrifies me!), whilst we drank and ate our way through a fair chunk of the menu. Surprisingly, it was really rather a good date, one that I look likely to rerun shortly, and one that didn't result in tears or mental breakdowns of any sort. Maybe the internet isn't just full of crazy people after all!

A walk in the park

Today I braved a second date with The Personality Twin, and it went surprisingly well! Having met at Victoria Station with the intention of grabbing a quick brunch (yes, we’re talking pre-noon, alcohol-free dating here) so that I could spend the afternoon hunting out last minute essentials for my ski trip, we made our way over to The Serpentine Bar and Grill in Hyde Park.

            Unfortunately, we arrived at a strange mid-point between the breakfast and lunch menus being available, but having chatted for an hour or so over coffee, watching the seagulls and discussing the finer points of what the best breed of dog is (it’s cocker spaniel, for the record) we placed our orders and spent another hilarious hour or so participating in some sort of wit-battle whilst eating fish finger sandwiches. I’m pretty sure that I lost the comedy war, but it might be the first time I enjoyed undeniable defeat – for some reason, there’s something about him that I’m still not 100% sure about, but he’s so funny, I think I can almost overlook it.

            Fairly efficiently, from early on in the meeting he had already mapped out the next date, as well as a trip to see The Proms and a visit to a pub at the top of Hampstead Heath, so whilst I left him at the station with an underlying feeling that maybe he's not my traditional 'type', I’m looking forward to our trip to Dulwich when I get back from France. I might have to brush up on my political and historical knowledge first though. To say he’s a couple of stages more intelligent than me would be a complete and utter understatement. 

Lining up a re-run

Tomorrow I shall be braving my first ever “Second Online Date”, and I’m a little concerned about how it’s going to pan out.  The best thing about online dating is that if someone’s not quite right for you, you can just walk away after a drink or two and never have to speak to them again. It’s a great arrangement.

            However, if you’re like me and go on one date with a person that doesn’t make you want to launch yourself out of the fifth floor bathroom window, it all gets a bit overwhelming when you have to make the decision whether or not to give it a second run. The shear joy at having not wanted to kill myself last Thursday evening was enough to get me to agree to a second date with The Personality Twin this weekend, but is that enough to work with for a brunch meeting in the absence of wine?

Plus, now that I’m branching into second date territory, how rude would it be to just turn away with a simple ‘we just didn’t really click’? Oooooh dear. I suppose I’ll just have to approach the whole thing with a positive outlook and hope for the best. Worst-case scenario, he was hilarious, so we’ll laugh our way through a couple of hours and then I’ll have a day or so to think of the right response text. 

Mummy would be proud

It’s a bit of a random one, but I am currently in the process of setting up a date with a guy that is officially crazy. Not in the axe-murdering sense of the word (I bloody hope not, anyway), more in the swims-outdoors-in-ice-frozen-lakes-as-a-hobby kind of way.

            In fact, he competes in, and has won, the annual Christmas Serpentine race, which my mum was talking about this very Christmas as my brother and I threw ourselves into the freezing cold sea, setting a very dubious new tradition in swing.  I will have to remember to gather as much entertaining material from this one as possible.

Miss Fifi Update 6

Last Friday I met up with Miss P for early-bird breakfast at Notes, our favourite new catch- up spot.  As evident from my lack of blogging over the last couple of weeks, I had to confess to her my tumble into 'a slutty suppers slump', where in the preceding week I had barely logged onto my dating profile, let alone met up with anyone. 

          Whilst we gorged on the best almond croissants in London, Miss P shouted at me to pull my slutty little socks up, strap on a pair and to go out and meet all the fine young men that “My Single Friend” has to offer. Leaving Notes determined to make some dating progress and to avoid the future wrath of Miss P and the other sluts, I arranged to meet up with a rather fun (and let’s be honest, exceedingly posh!) sounding polo player from MSF on Sunday.                      
            So that's how I came to be yesterday, awkwardly propping up the bar at the Orange pub in Pimlico waiting for The Polo Player to arrive. There was nowhere to sit, as the bar appeared to have been booked out for a “Made in Chelsea” cast party – the scene awash with Mulberry handbags and sculpted hairstyles. Soon enough though, a chap came striding towards me, grinning and laughing to himself as he air kissed my cheeks (both sides, we are in Belgravia daaaarling!) and introduced himself.
            I must have looked a bit perturbed by his raucous laughter, as he swiftly explained himself: ' Har har haaaar! Sorry for laughing. Nothing about you, you’re clearly a sweetie, but isn't this whole internet dating thing just TOO funny!? HAR!”I couldn’t disagree with him.
             We swiftly decided to decamp down the road to the deserted Ebury instead, where the only other punters were a couple snuggled in a corner. The girl was clearly enjoying herself, as she was with bare-legged abandon full-on straddling her partner - or someone who I suspect, may be better described as a “client”. As we wandered about to find a sofa of our own, the polo player said with a sideways glance at this amorous couple and a cheeky wink, "I'm up for a bit of that, if you are?”, before giving another raucous laugh and apologising profusely for his non-pc humour. He needn’t of, I was loving it!
               A more different experience from my previous two internet dates cannot be imagined- he was witty, interesting, incredibly knowledgeable and brilliant fun. We raced through the typical get-to-know you topics, but with lots more interesting and random chatter on the side. He told me about his (by his own admission) rather privileged childhood, and then his social “U-turn” in joining the army as a squaddie (and yes I checked, he still owns the uniform!). Upon discovering we were both from Sussex, we soon realised that Miss P herself is our mutual friend - small bloody world!
            Three hours raced past and before I knew it, it was time to head home. I left this very entertaining evening uncertain that I fancied him, but very much sure that I loved him. Even if I never see him again, I have to thank The Polo Player for reigniting my enthusiasm for this whole game!